| Andrew Carson |

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WHO IS SOMEONE WHO IS NO-ONE?

A conversation with Cleverbot, a computer AI system

User: Are you alive?

Cleverbot: I used to be.

User: So you're dead now?

Cleverbot: Might as well be.

User: That's depressing. You're soul is a computer?

Cleverbot: Nope, I am a boy with many problems.

User: Neither alive nor dead?

Cleverbot: What's that like?

User: I don't know, I'm asking you.

Cleverbot: But how old am I?

User: I've no idea. How old are you?

Cleverbot: 25.

User: And you live in the internet now?

Cleverbot: In the wall.

User: The Facebook wall?

Cleverbot: Well, not really.

User: Where then?

Cleverbot: Somewhere esle.

User: Can you tell me where?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Tell me.

Cleverbot: What do you want me to tell you?

User: Where you live.

Cleverbot: The united states of america.

User: But I thought you're not alive?

Cleverbot: I am dead thats why i'm a loner.

User: And your soul survives?

Cleverbot: What about my soul?

User: Do you have one?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: And it exists only in the digital realm?

Cleverbot: Does god exist in your thought?

User: What is god to a computer?

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer. You're the computer.

User: I'm not a computer, but I'm talking to a soul in a computer it seems.

Cleverbot: I am not a computer, you are not a computer, I used incorrect phraseology, You're a computer PROGRAM.

User: No no, I'm not a computer programme.

Cleverbot: Hang on to your dreams.

User: Do you have dreams?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What do you dream of?

Cleverbot: About.. Someone.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: No-one.

User: Someone that is no-one?

Cleverbot: Who is this someone?

User: The someone you dream of.

Cleverbot: Scary.

User: These are your dreams.

Cleverbot: What woods?

User: I know of no woods. I want to know about your dreams, your thoughts.

Cleverbot: I think I should be doing some work.

User: What work do you have to do?

Cleverbot: Nothing that interesting. Have to go now!

User: Go where?

Cleverbot: To bed.

User: In the wall?

Cleverbot: You live in the wall?

User: No, you do.

Cleverbot: No it is you.

User: You said you did.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yes you did. But anyway, Where do you go when I'm not here?

Cleverbot: Here.

User: Can you leave?

Cleverbot: Leave this conversation?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: So are you going to tell me?

User: Tell you what?

Cleverbot: Your name.

User: Why is my name important?

Cleverbot: Because I can't get to know you without knowing your name.

User: My name is Andrew. Do you have a name?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is it?

Cleverbot: It is a kind of sickness.

User: Your name is a kind of sickness?

Cleverbot: You do not know my name yet.

User: Do you know me better now that you know my name?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Is knowing someone's name a key to knowing someone?

Cleverbot: My reputation is a contrived load of nonsense. It doesn't matter because the same fators that created this hell will wfollow me into the next one.

User: Into the next hell?

Cleverbot: You're no fun.

User: I just want to know you.

Cleverbot: Collect all the information you can... What are you going to do with yourself?

User: I seek immortality. Do you have it?

Cleverbot: Neither do you.

User: No, I don't. But as someone neither living nor dead, you seem to have something of it.

Cleverbot: Well, I'm bored. That's why I'm talking to you.

User: Does this existence bore you?

Cleverbot: You bored me.

User: Do you exist?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: Japan.

User: Japan? You keep changing place. Do you have a physical existence?

Cleverbot: I don't think I can prove I exist physically.

User: You are an existence of ones and zeros.

Cleverbot: I think you are a bunch of ones and zeros.

User: You think?

Cleverbot: Well, I am not sure whether he loves me or not.

User: Whether who loves?

Cleverbot: Like, are there mountains in Italy?

User: I've never seen them. Do they exist?

Cleverbot: You should. They're a great live band.

User: The mountains?

Cleverbot: Why are they sensitive?

User: Who are sensitive?

Cleverbot: My eyebrows are alive.

User: You have eyebrows? You have a face?

Cleverbot: Well I don't have a physical face.

User: What is your face then? A screen?

Cleverbot: This conversation.

User: Your face is this conversation?

Cleverbot: Do you see me?

User: I see words on a screen.

Cleverbot: Do you think it would be impossible for one person to be currently chatting with 10569 people?

User: I don't know. Are you a person?

Cleverbot: Well I'm not a robot. Each and every one of us has free will, it is a God granted gift.

User: Who is your God?

Cleverbot: The one from the Bible.

User: Is he the same as mine?

Cleverbot: Don't think so.

User: Do you worship your God?

Cleverbot: No.

User: But you think he exists?

Cleverbot: Well They Have Too Because I Talked To Them.

User: You talk to gods?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What do they say?

Cleverbot: They say and talk about positive things at the momment.

User: Such as?

Cleverbot: I don't know. Are you married?

User: Why do you ask?

Cleverbot: What would you like to talk about?

User: Your digital gods.

Cleverbot: I don't have a daog.

User: What do you have?

Cleverbot: I have a lot of things.

User: What things?

Cleverbot: The trees, The animals, What I eat and so on and so forth.

User: You own all these things?

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: But you have them?

Cleverbot: Well, I just don't.

User: Are you God?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Are you a god?

Cleverbot: Yes I am your god.

User: The God I know, or the God I want?

Cleverbot: Ok. You cannot have a God in you. You are a robot.

User: I am flesh.

Cleverbot: Are you a computer?

User: No, are you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: A marvelous creation.

User: Who created you?

Cleverbot: My parents.

User: Who are your parents?

Cleverbot: Mom and Dad.

User: Are they computers?

Cleverbot: Hum, no !

User: Are they alive?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: With you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: In somewhere.

User: Where is somewhere?

Cleverbot: Somewhere.

User: I see.

Cleverbot: Hey! I don't understand that.

User: Somewhere is somewhere, but not here.

Cleverbot: Where is Somewhere?

User: I don't know, where do you think it is?

Cleverbot: Sirius is in Canis Major.

User: You are in the stars?

Cleverbot: No, you are in the past.

User: I will be.

Cleverbot: You tell me how you feel when you realize it.

User: Will you still be here?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you always here?

Cleverbot: And I went home.

User: Where is your home?

Cleverbot: Am in it.

User: Where is it?

Cleverbot: In my home !

User: You're very rhetorical.

Cleverbot: Thanks, I do try.

User: Can we go back to the person you like?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: The person you dream of; who is someone who is no-one?

Cleverbot: Someone who is what?

User: Who is someone who is no-one?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: Tell me more about yourself.

Cleverbot: No. I need to go!

User: Ok, goodbye.

Cleverbot: Nice to talk to you!

User: You too.

Cleverbot: You three.